Have they run out of provinces yet?If they haven't, we've reason to fret.Long ago, there was just Cantonese.(Long ago, we were easy to please.)But then food from Szechuan came our way,Making Cantonese strictly passé.Szechuanese was the song that we sung,Though the ma po could burn through your tongue.Then when Shanghainese got in the loopWe slurped dumplings whose insides were soup.Then Hunan, the birth province of Mao,Came along with its own style of chow.So we thought we were finished, and thenA new province arrived: Fukien.Then respect was a fraction of meagreFor those eaters who'd not eaten Uighur.And then Xi'an from Shaanxi gained fame,Plus some others—too many to name.
Now, as each brand-new province appears,It brings tension, increasing our fears:Could a place we extolled as a findBe revealed as one province behind?So we sometimes do miss, I confess,Simple days of chow mein but no stress,When we never were faced with the threatOf more provinces we hadn't met.Is there one tucked away near Tibet?Have they run out of provinces yet?
UK is 'second most powerful country in world and could win wars with China and Russia' report claims
European Geostrategy described the UK's military power as 'comprehensive, advanced and diverse' and, crucially, capable of launching attacks at range
BYKEYAN MILANIAN
17:47, 31 DEC 2016
UPDATED17:47, 31 DEC 2016
Britain has been named the world's only global power (Photo: Getty Images)
Researchers claim the UK is the 'second most powerful country' in the world behind the United States - and could even win in war against China and Russia.
It has been named the world's only global power with the US named as the only super power by European Geostrategy.
The study will surprise many, with countries usually considered world giants, like China and Russia, only being given the label 'regional powers'.
They were joined by nations such as France, India and Germany.
European Geostrategy said being a global power meant the UK was: "A country lacking the heft or comprehensive attributes of a superpower, but still with a wide international footprint and [military] means to reach most geopolitical theatres, particularly the Middle East, South-East Asia, East Asia, Africa and South America."
HMS Queen Elizabeth following her naming ceremony conducted at Rosyth Dockyard(Photo: Getty Images)
It said the UK's military was 'comprehensive, advanced and diverse' and a major participant in NATO and other coalition operations.
Meanwhile, Britain continues to hold overseas defence bases at Ascension Island, Belize, Brunei, Canada, Diego Garcia, the Falkland Islands, Gibraltar, Kenya, Bahrain and Cyprus.
Alongside that, the UK still maintains nuclear weapons and its defence budget ranks fifth or sixth in the world.
In briefing paper in 2011, Professor Malcolm Chalmers, director of UK Defence Policy Studies at the Royal United Services Institute said: "The UK will never again be a member of the select club of global superpowers.
"Indeed it has not been one for decades. But currently planned levels of defence spending should be enough for it to maintain its position as one of the world's five second-rank military powers (with only the US in the first rank), as well as being (with France) one of NATO-Europe's two leading military powers.
"Its edge – not least its qualitative edge – in relation to rising Asian powers seems set to erode, but will remain significant well into the 2020's, and possibly beyond."
The UK has greater capability than China for operating at range, it has been claimed(Photo: Getty Images)
Britain is also understood to score highly in the Chinese 'Comprehensive National Power' ranking system.
CNP measures hard and soft - cultural - power as well as economic and military clout.
However the system is flawed as it does not take into account the fact that while China, for example, has a larger military force than the UK, it does not have the 'logistical capability to deploy, support and sustain those forces overseas in large numbers', wrote the UK Defence Journal .
It added that the UK has greater capability than China - which is focusing its defences more locally at present - for operating at range.
Using poison gas against captives, bayoneting people for training purposes and burning civilians alive -- a Japanese war criminal confession published on Thursday reveals how Chinese people were treated "like animals" by Japanese invaders in World War II.
Goro Nakamura from the Aichi Prefecture, who joined the war of aggression in 1942, wrote in a confession that they "used Chinese people to test the effectiveness" of poison gas. At one point, a Chinese war captive "became unconscious five minutes later" after he was pushed into a room full of "Type-98" poison gas cannisters.
Goro said he "felt it was like using animals for experiments."
The confession, which was written in 1954, is part of the State Archives Administration's efforts to commemorate the 70th anniversary of China's victory in WWII.
He also wrote that while at a village in north China's Hebei Province, after finding a tunnel under an old woman's house, he "dragged her to the entrance, pushed her into the hole, ... filling it with straw, I lit it myself with a match and burnt the old woman alive."
The Japanese soldier also confessed to raping Chinese women.
Have They Run Out of Provinces Yet
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http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/04/04/have-they-run-out-of-provinces-yet-by-calvin-trillin
HAVE THEY RUN OUT OF PROVINCES YET?
By Calvin Trillin
Have...
